Wednesday, 25 November 2015

And How Am I?

Well if I'm honest I've not been particularly good for a few months now! How would I describe it? Like I'm just going through the motions, I'm stagnating, unmotivated, lazy, tired, exasperated, frustrated with myself and life. I hate feeling like this, so out of control. Yet each time I try to get that control back I'm unsuccessful and on top of that I'm feeling a bit of mummy guilt. E deserves so much more than I'm providing her, she deserves a happy mummy, I need to discipline and play with her more. And then there's that one thing that's out of my hands, I want her dad to want to be involved in her life (but that's down to him). I know I'm a good mummy, she is such a beautiful, happy and content little lady so I must be doing something right! How would I like to feel? I want to feel alive, excited, confident and happy!! I so want to feel better, (this PND has taken enough from me already!) But as a special lady pointed out to me recently, wanting to get better isn't going to make it happen! In fact the frustration will only make it worse!
I need to stop being so hard on myself, I'm not failing (just struggling to find the right path to a better me!) My friend also said I should live in the now, which makes complete and utter sense but it's going to take determination to put it into practice. You see I know what I should be doing, I can even offer advice to others who are struggling! But for some reason I find it hard to take it on board! Someone else (on twitter) told me we ought to watch out for the 'should gremlins' because they automatically set us up for failure. So I'm trying to replace my 'should's' 'must's' and 'need's' with 'want's' 'would like's' and 'will try's'!
So for now at least Helen's Healthy Habits and everything else I've said I need to do will have to go on the back burner as I focus on the '24 little hours' in each and every day! All I would like to do is take it one baby step at a time and hopefully in a few months time (or even 6 months) I can look back and see how far I've come!!
Writing this post has somehow been cathartic and I'm already feeling more hopeful! Feel free to comment and share! Until next time xoxo

Monday, 9 November 2015

A Simple Question!!

Every day, no matter where we go we are asked the same question countless times, by people we know! That could be close friends, family, work colleagues, acquaintances, and also by strangers like shopkeepers, bus drivers, waitresses, bank clerks. HOW ARE YOU? It's 3 words, 9 letters and a question mark!! It sounds innocuous but it's also a loaded question! Do these people really want to know? Are they just being polite? Should I be honest? What will they say if I am? So how many of us give the same reply? I'M FINE THANKS! Is there something wrong with that? No, not really but it doesn't really say much! It hides our true feelings but it is also a satisfactory answer, it means people don't feel the need to delve deeper!
So if we were really honest what would we say instead?

  • I'm having a shit day!
  • I could be better! 
  • I might cry if you keep talking to me!
  • I'm sad!
  • I'm lost!
  • I'm lonely! 
  • I need help
  • I'm frustrated! 
  • I'm so unhappy! 
  • I'm struggling! 
The list goes on and on!
So many of us hide how we're really feeling, maybe because we don't want to bother people or we don't want to feel vulnerable. But keeping these feelings in isn't good for us! We forget how genuinely lovely people are! It's one of a handful of good things PND has taught me! People are so willing to listen, to give a hug, to be there for you, to help in any way they can!! So if you're struggling for any reason (someone reminded me the other day that we really have no idea what battles people are fighting!) take a deep breath, be brave and tell someone how you're really feeling, they may just surprise you!! And when you ask that question HOW ARE YOU? really listen, look in their eyes, they may not be telling you the whole truth!
So to end this short post I will ask How Are You?  XOXO